Updated: Jan 31, 2022
Peace Trybe & Random Scrolling Strangers,
Today I am 27 years old, 17 hours and some change left over. Today, I am in love with myself and out of love for someone that meant the world to me.
I still want to give up on love, but I can't now.
Love sets me up like i'm a fish.
Constantly having vivid, beautiful energy dangled in my face till I try to embrace it for too long.
Now I am getting cut again.
My mouth sore from cutting my tongue on I love yous and I'm here for you.
My mind is scrambled as I am pulled from underwater and beaten on the dock of 'terrible decisions for a beautiful outcome'.
I am gasping for air & water in my lungs.
My small body can't handle being submerged in this weightless love.
No longer am I loved but just wanted.
No longer am I useful, so I'm discarded.
I feel like meat.
Cut from the lamb then soaked in promises and sweet nothings.
Caressed with good intentions and healing.
I wish I could have said no, but here we are.
I am left in your fridge till you remember how good I taste.
How much I filled your belly and your soul.
I cannot be reheated again.
I have scorch marks and sick bruises that the dead can see.
You make me vulnerable to the parasites and the diseases that feed on those who lost hope and crave to be tender again.
My heart is screaming that this is enough.
That I won't line up to be fed plates of temporary understanding and limited time offers of compassion and understanding.
How could you call that love?
When your life gets stuff you just give up.
I was told not to trust another human being.
Because we are human beings and we fuck up.
We have the best intentions but our feelings run rapid.
As if we mean what we say now but when its not the base of our actions anymore we easily let go. We move on through griefing and we don't give a second thought.
All I asked for was consideration. Communication and love.
What you've left me with is hurt and mistrust. I know I was enough.
I did everything I could.
I did the best that I could. I regret nothing still.
And people will mock and feel sorry for this love.
They will probably have their two cents to add and they might question why we were together in the first place.
Yet I still won't regret it.
Not a night of love or sweet embraces.
Not the dangled promises or the long passionate talks.
I won't erase you.
I won't forget you, but I am moving on.
No longer bound by you.
I will succeed in life nonetheless.
I will succeed in love nonetheless.
Since a piece of vivid energy just dangled in front of me and the hole I had in my mouth from being caught and released is still there. I will let the hole you created heal.
Letting myself fill me up with love and learning patience.
I will take this next chapter alone. Yet, I am not lonely.
I am twenty seven years old and 34 is on repeat.
I hooked myself this time around...
Priestess of the Divine Trinity